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Best Advice After You Get Engaged

Updated: May 26, 2022

With all the excitement of getting engaged couples can get distracted into planning too early and then regretting some of their arrangements later. #engaged. In most cases, one of the couples doesn’t know they are about to be proposed to. So rightly so, there is major excitement and planning suggestions without much thought because you are caught up in the celebrations.

Following a recent interview with Sara Kennedy @ Irish wedding blog, it's good advice to take a minute and sit down and agree between each other what sort of a wedding are you looking to have.

The following are key questions to ask before really discussing your wedding with anybody:

1) Do we want a big wedding or a small intimate wedding.

2) Do we want our wedding in a traditional hotel wedding setting or something different eg, Castle, Marquee or an exclusive wedding house. E.g., Bellinter House, Co Meath @Virginia park lodge or going abroad to get married.

3) Do we want to have a church wedding or civil wedding ceremony

4) Budget are we going to be using our savings or borrowing money to get married. Do we think our parents are going to help?

5) Honeymoon straight after the wedding or will we have a short holiday and then go on a honeymoon.

6) The date very important summer wedding, Autumn wedding or a winter wedding around x-mas.

Really you have a lot to discuss between yourselves before you get your family involved. It's good advice to have these decisions made between you before this happens. Sometimes parents have a different vision on how they would like their son or daughter to get married and where they would like to happen. That’s all very generous but it’s important to remember it’s your wedding and it’s the one day in your life that marks a brand new chapter, a chapter that will remain with you for the rest of your life. It's good advice that as a couple you do it your way.

I am not for one minute saying don’t get your family involved in your wedding day, by all means, but have your boundaries set up as a couple, this is what we would like and we really would like you involved. This way you are creating less stress and you’re not shutting your family out. @irishcelebrant.

Now you should then sit down and put together the people you would like to have at your wedding. This will and need to be done a couple of times before you finalize a list. This is where the work starts because at this point you are beginning to put a structure into your wedding. Before you even think about looking at a venue you should have a fairly good idea of Numbers for your wedding, this will dictate the venue you are looking for.

Having the basics established like a rough idea of numbers give or take ten people, whether it’s a castle, outside venues, house or hotel, religious or non-religious. a good tip here is to start thinking about friends weddings you have been at and pick some of these ideas just to help you along the way.

Then think about the budget, do you have the savings to cover it between both of or do you need to save, if you need to save how much can you save within the next year or 15 months to cover your wedding costs. One thing you should not bank on is that if you invite 100 people, they will at least give you an x-amount or at least 50% of them will do.

You can’t depend on that because you will need to pay a lot of your fees upfront. There are some things you might pay on the day like a or a wedding DJ, the celebrant, but the main part of your evening will be paid before your wedding day. To be fair it doesn’t look great going through envelopes looking for cash. Don’t rely on guest gifts.

Some couples apply for loans, this can be difficult, you may not get approved for the loan, how much will you really need. If you get approved you have to draw down the loan within 30 days, then you have to pay it back and in some cases, you paying it back before you spend it. Is it worth it getting yourself into a stressful situation paying back a loan just for one day?

You may be thinking of buying a house if you get a big loan out for your wedding it could cause problems getting a mortgage. Good advice just stay within what you are comfortable with rather than trying to be better than the last wedding you attended. Be careful.

Once you have the budget sorted it’s time to reaching out to suppliers like venues, ceremonies and your date. A good tip here is rather than go speak to loads of venues try and narrow it down to three venues and if possible two dates. If it’s a church wedding you need to find the availability of the church and the priest or vicar, if you going with a celebrant you need to consider whether it’s a solemiser, humanist, spiritual or civil celebrant you are going to use @stephenbradycivialcelebrant

Important to note while picking a venue is what type of contract will you be asked to sign. Do you need to book rooms to confirm the venue? What type of deposit are you going to need to pay. this is the biggest part of your spending on the day. Time needs to be spent here. When you sign the contract, make sure you read the contract. Remember with venues deposits are non-refundable. If you’re not happy with the wording or don’t understand it get the venue to go through it with you.

Do not sign anything you are not comfortable with. Try and get it made clear especially with today’s numbers being allowed at venues that if you have to restrict your numbers your venue will work with you. Good idea to get information on how your hotel bill is calculated. Read, Read the contract priority.

The next phase of your wedding planning is to book your single day providers like your photographer, make-up, Dj, Video. Again you are going to need money here for deposits. If you don’t have a deposit, you haven’t booked anything.

You have a lot of the heavy lifting done and if you’re renting a property or paying a mortgage give your self a breather now. It's important to keep an eye on the budget. Make sure you keep your budget at the forefront at this point if it's not in line you will find it difficult to keep track and you don’t want it to get out of hand at this stage 12 month to 16 months out.

Remember it's possible you will have to pay more deposits six months out and then three months out. Three months out is where you need to be careful. Because at this point if you do cancel most suppliers have it in their contract that they are due 25% to 50% of their fee. Just be mindful of this it's an area where couples do get caught while they are trying to do last minute things.

Twelve months out brides tend to go looking for dresses although it's fair to say a bride can now pick her dress as close as a week away from the wedding. Try to pick a style that you are interested in rather than going out and hitting shop after shop till you find your dress. @love Ellie bridal shop Virginia, Co.Cavan.

Once you have the essentials are done and you are on budget on target you can start looking for personal touches like champagne walls, selfie mirror, Important to note get your green folder booked must be three months out max six months out.

So, 4-6 six weeks out your wedding starts to kick into place, lots more deposits have to be paid and you start really confirming everything, table plans are done, reconfirm everything with your suppliers just in case there are any communication issues. Also, you may need to chase up rsvp. You need to know who is coming and who is not.

It's very important than from here to look after yourselves so that you are both able to stick the pace. It’s your day so you want to make sure that that you need to be able to stick the pace for the day as it can be so overwhelming, and couples tend to find they can’t stay up for the afters as they are just too tired with the stress.

Good idea to double-check with your church or celebrant. If you are getting married abroad it's good advice to get married here in a low key service and then get the blessing abroad. Getting married abroad can be tricky with the legals do best advise do it here.

Should you need it to get a wedding planner, they don’t always cost so much and they will save you money. You can book a wedding planner online and do a virtual call. If it becomes a task or overwhelming a wedding planner can be great to help you get through the heavy stuff. @SaraKennedy.

Enjoy your wedding planning don’t panic we are here to help. Have a great wedding planning journey.

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